Monthly Brain Dump?

So blogging on a weekly basis didn’t work out.  I kinda knew that would happen.  I continue to be ground into dust by work and distracted by Diablo III.

The Savannah trip was great.  I really did mean to do a whole big blog about it, but I struggled to get back into the routine of work and just couldn’t bring myself to write anything.  It’s a beautiful city.  I’d move there in a heartbeat.

Yesterday was a meat grinder.  I probably didn’t get as much work done as I should have, but I’m okay with that.  I did what I could.  I felt bad for not staying late.  No worries, it lasted about two seconds, and then I happy to be out in the heat.

Yes, the amazing heat.  When I left the building for lunch at 1:30, it was 103.  Not accounting for the heat index.  Just raw heat.  I expected to swim down the block, but it was actually not that humid and fairly breezy.  It felt wonderful.  I wouldn’t want to exert myself out in it, but just to stand there for a while or sit in the shade was really nice.  It tried to storm last night.  The wind got up, and the power tried to go out a couple times close to midnight.  Today is going to be much the same.  I plan on leaving the house here at some point, but I’m not going to be playing around outside.  I like the heat, but I’m not stupid.

I’m still not writing much.  Again, letting work and video games take priority.  I wasn’t helped much yesterday by the announcement of the results of a poetry contest I entered back in April.  One contest means nothing, though, and honestly, I don’t know if what I sent in was my best work.  Even so, the winning poems aren’t posted, so I can’t compare.  There are better writers than me, and the winners most likely are better.  So what?  But for a moment or so, I wondered why I’ve been wasting my time trying to be a writer.  Existential crisis of the week.  Should I write strictly as a hobby?  Should I bother writing at all?  Should I put down the pen for good and resign myself to a life of working and playing games on my computer?  I’d read a lot more if I did.  For another moment, I took the loss (is it a loss, really?) as impetus to rededicate myself to writing, including the submitting things to be published part of writing.  That didn’t last either.  I’m right back where I started before I entered the contest.  Which is sinking in the quicksand of inertia.

Fuck inertia.  I’m going to go do something I’ve thought about for a couple years now and have planned and put off for a month or so.

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