At least since I said I was going to start doing this weekly again. And at least I think it’s number 3. Anyway.
My brain has been on vacation for the last week or so. We actually leave tomorrow. I’ve wanted to go to Savannah forever. The topic of vacation plans came up some months ago over wine and dinner with friends, and Savannah came up, and that was that. I’ve been to Atlanta, although neither time I was there did I do much exploring of the city, but it’s a place that has a certain resonance for me. Savannah has that, too, even though I haven’t been there, sort of like New Orleans or Seattle. Needless to say, I’m ready to go RIGHT NOW.
What’s in Savannah? Don’t know! That’s half the fun. We’ll be blocks from the river and twenty minutes from the ocean, in the historic district with old graveyards nearby. Honestly, that’s about all I need.
There will be lots of walking, lots of picture taking, lots of exploring. I’ll have my laptop with me, so maybe I’ll do some travel blogs like I did when I was in Winston-Salem. We’ll see.
I’ve been writing just a bit more than in past months. I’ve got the reworked Dead Boys series going. Haven’t looked at that one in a while, but it’s there. Not much poetry lately, but that’s okay. Mostly it’s been this fantasy thing that wants to be a trilogy. I’m fighting it hard right now, though. I’m absolutely in love with the character, so that’s not the issue.
Fantasy–high fantasy–is the issue. I don’t want to write Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones or whatever. Not even the Dark Tower. Granted, I haven’t read any of Game of Thrones yet, but I have seen the first few episodes of the HBO series, so I have a good handle on what it’s all about. I sort of want to write anti-fantasy. The main character is an anti-hero (do I write any other kind?), so why not anti- the whole fucking thing? I don’t want to write something that would cause filmmakers to make all the characters have British accents. I mean, really. Why is that accent, that speech pattern, that formality, associated with high fantasy? Of course, this being a world that isn’t ours, I won’t be using modern slang, but language is something I’ll be paying pretty close attention to. I’m not going to let any character fall into the kind of speech, where there are no contractions or cursing. I’m also looking to do something different with magic in this world. Still working that out, but I have ideas.
I’m starting out with something fairly cliche. Main character’s family is killed by monsters so he sets out to kill all the monsters but there are Other Things Going On. In particular, I want to avoid the main character being something special, more than human or preternaturally skilled. He’s good at hunting and killing monsters, but he’s not some powerful psychic/half-breed/angel-demon whatever. He’s a man who’s really, really fucking pissed off. He wants to avenge his murdered family, and he does not give a fuck about doing the right thing. He isn’t tasked with some world saving mission. For him, it’s kill, kill, kill, kill and kill some more. His goal? Genocide. Of course, it’s not going to work out to his expectations. Wouldn’t be much of a story if it that’s all there was to it.
So. Cliche beginning, but where do I go from there to keep this from turning into high fantasy just like every other high fantasy novel/series in existence? Guess we’ll find out. We’ll also be finding out if I still have the patience to write a novel. Maybe if I write a lot of it while I’m drunk and can ramble on without the inner editor bitching about the bits that are unnecessary. I’ve got some 3000 words so far.
I’m also tired of excuses. Not just the excuses I give myself about why I don’t write or read or take photos as much as I want to. Excuses in general. Because I figured something out. Life has no grand meaning, no grand design. Life is about tedium. Either overcoming tedium or giving into it. I’m not down with giving into the tedium, which means I don’t want the excuses for maintaining the tedium. Okay sure, we all got bills to pay and so on, but after that? What’s my excuse for not going to the museum every weekend or finding a state park to walk around in or submitting poems to as many places as I can? Too drained from work? Fuck it! It takes a CLICK to submit a poem to a zine. If I can sit here and play Diablo 3 all fucking night, I can do that. And why am I not doing that right now? Because I’m watching hockey and getting ready to run away for a whole week. But after that?
Yeah right. I say shit like that all the fucking time. If I were serious about it, I wouldn’t have to write blogs like this all the time.